My name's Alex
and it means 'awesome bitch' in some language that doesn't exist
because I just made it up.
Nothing can stop me now
cos I don't care anymore
Okay so because of the way facebook profiles look now, you can see notes that previously didn’t really show up. I ended up on some random guy from my high school’s profile and found possibly the funniest note. It’s like…technically this could be a suicide note but this is hilarious (and he’s still alive now to make it clear…)
’August 1, 2011
Bitch I Told You,
I motherfucking told you. I told you. I god damn told you.
Tell me I didn’t tell you.
You’re a fucking liar, because I told you.
I god damn told you.
Maybe you weren’t listening. Maybe your just too fucking stupid and thought I wasn’t serious. But I told you.
Or maybe you were too busy drooling over all those cocks you wanted to suck to pay attention. But I told you. I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with your hearing. What I do know is that I told you.
Just like my father told my mother and his father told his mother and his father told his mother, I told you.
What did I tell you? That’s right, I told you I would fucking kill you and me both if you ever left me. Maybe from now on you will listen when I tell you something.
P.S. Tell the insurance company I was killed by 2 black men. They’ll buy that with no further questions.’
Seriously though, that PS. Amazing.
…He should probably get some serious help though.
O sugar daddy, sugar daddy. Where for art thou Sugar daddy?
Deny thy frugality and refuse thy common sense
Tis but thy lack of money that is my enemy
I wouldn’t be sexually attracted to anyone who was a foot shorter than me, even if their penis was essentially a third leg. Also, I wouldn’t want to be ripped in two by a midget.
So i’d have to go with the muscular man with a small penis. Assuming of course that it wasn’t like…comically small and that the guy, although muscular, was also taller than me.
So, there’s your answer, dear anonymous inquirer.